Anger and Your Driving: Use Self-Talk to Create Safer VistasDr. Tony Fiore Date: January 28, 2001 Place: Fashion Island, Newport Beach, California The incident: Jane, a middle aged professional woman had an altercation with another woman who accosted her after she refused to give up her parking spot. Jane clearly reached the coveted spot first, but the other woman asked her to move, explaining she was 20 minutes late for a doctor’s appointment. At first, Jane thought it was a joke, but before she knew it, the two women were tussling on the concrete. Most people feel angry in situations when someone making outrageous requests of us. This is because our brains are ‘hardwired’ to react with anger when we are frustrated or when obstacles prevent us from reaching our goals. Aggressive driving behavior is due, in part, to a breakdown of an individual’s internal control of their emotions in public places. Other common driving frustrations and irritations that often cause angry feelings and weakening of control include being:
Gaining control of our emotions – and more importantly, our behavior – is often a matter of finding a way to change our perspective or vista of the situation. Frequently, what we tell ourselves is so automatic that we don’t even realize what it is we are thinking; yet, our thinking patterns are what make us more angry or calm us by changing how we experience that which is frustrating us. Example 1: Getting cut off. Someone triggers anger by cutting you off in traffic; you automatically tell yourself things like ‘What a jerk; he has no right to do that to me; I’m going to get even; he did that to me on purpose; why does he disrespect me like that How dare he do that to me, etc. Self-talk alternatives: Instead, try changing your self-talk to:
Benefits of your new perspective:
Example 2: Slow driver: You are late to an appointment but stuck behind a gray-haired lady going 15 miles an hour below the speed limit. Your automatic thoughts: ‘Why does this always happen to me She is doing this to make me late. Why can’t she get out of my way How inconsiderate she is! She shouldn’t have a driver’s license.’ Self-talk options:
Angry feelings are a normal response to driving frustrations. Unfortunately, our ‘automatic thoughts’ may increase these feelings and cause us to lose control. Learning different ‘self-talk’ gives us a powerful tool to control our negative emotions on the road so we can avoid death, serious injury or legal problems.
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